holy week + birthday rants Labels: rants, special mention, thoughts
wow, can't believe it's been seventeen years since my mom went through the pains of labor to bring me into this world.
oh yeah, i just spend the whole good friday in silence...it really makes me appreciate the gift of words. still, it made me realize that silence is not appreciated enough. hmmm...had other thoughts when i was silent. thing is, there were times when i felt like i wasn't really silent, coz thoughts kept on coming in my mind and i felt like i was talking the whole time. only i wasn't. gets? XD
anyway, i'll be going to MOA tomorrow (first time, weeeee!) and i hope we all have a good time.
elleeeeeeeeeeee!! miss na kitaaaaaaaaa!!!! sana pinayagan ka, huhuhuhuhu.. :'(
oh well...next time, ok?
SEE YOU MGA BADING!!
*sings happy birthday to me*
vow of silence Labels: rants
ok. i'm trying to keep calm about this. this is just frustrating.
i can't even stop myself from talking to myself out loud.
i mean, hello. can't i even THINK SILENTLY??
no one's even around to talk to, i mean, what is that??
this is ridiculous. i know i can do this.
God help me.
last week of classes Labels: rants
waaah! i still have tons of stuff to do!
i'm goin to cagayan this friday (i think...)
so i'm gonna have to finish some stuff there...but right now, i need to finish my cw10 fiction paper!!
wala lang, type lang ako, nyahaha:)
Luxie is connected!
yeah! i can't believe i'm typing this on Luxie! at long last!
haha! ang babaw :P
but hey, i'm happyyyyy!XD
though there are still some things nagging at the back of my mind...
ah well, come what may :)
i am officially in love... Labels: blind item, rants
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with my MacBook!! nyahahahaha!
finally! after much delay...it's here! XD
and it's perfect for my Java programming :D
nyahaha, HAPPY VALENTINE's everyone!
i have a date...
with...
sssh.
deh, joke lang XD
unless... ^_^
2007: The Debut Year
and i am so excited XD
well, it's the debut year for most of the girls in our batch anyway (er, right?)
and Apple's debut would be the first one i'd attend :D
weeee! hehe, friends get to see each other again after almost a year of college...but i honestly think that nothing much has changed. it's still the same old people that i've come to know and love :D
it's good that we've been able to stay in touch after HS...
it seems like a lot of people have been writing about how life in college is getting on right now...some happy, some nostalgic, some unsettled, all pretty much discovering new things.
and it got me wondering about my life as it is right now. i've lost that "oh-yeah-i'm-in-college-and-it's-so-new-and-so-cool" mood...or maybe it's just that i am perpetually in that mood so i don't notice it anymore XD
the point is, things have been bland the past few week, with a few exceptions here and there, but i feel like i'm missing out on a lot of things...
i mean, i should be partying and attending concerts and getting home after dark while making new friends...where is the fun hiding??
or maybe i'm just too lazy to do anything short of fun. :P
i'm planning to apply for JMA next sem, but this sem, i'm gonna take a chance at CURSOR. it's easier to defer than not try at all, so why not.
my days have been filled with TV, sleep, a little schoolwork and more sleeping. ghad, give me some work to do. i mean, i don't mind staying up late if it's for a reason other than mindlessly surfing the net just because i can't sleep. (though that's probably the fault of...nevermind XD)
"in a mad world, only the mad are sane"
i threw out a lot of stuff yesterday...
old test papers.
past homeworks.
scratch papers.
and a whole bunch of unidentifiable papers :P
(ok, here comes the drama..)
and as i stood in the midst of the dark kitchen, in front of the trash can...i took a deep breath and let it all go...the faint thud of papers against the rustle of plastic gave a kind of finality to it all...
at least my room is cleaner than before.:)
after all, i need to throw out the extra luggage to make room for the new...
how can i take more risks and plunge head first into life if i leave the old adventures on the shelf to gather dust?
but even if the physical remnants of the past is now sitting at the bottom of the dumpster...
memories of them would always, always remain in the everlasting depths of my mind ^_^
and i didn't throw everything away..i like looking back once in a while:)
but for now...i have a math exam result to actually look forward to and a new day of school to enjoy tommorow^_^
plus this other thing to enjoy :P
anyway, i just wanted to rant away, mwehehehe :)
new layout! Labels: rants
oh yeah!
haha, i made this in about 6 hours or less..yahoo! :)
tag me and tell me what you think! ^_^
i took the liberty of making it look decent on both firefox and IE, and it looks okay on 800x600 and 1024x786 resolutions , yay:)
not sure how it looks on bigger resolutions though, so if you do have a bigger resolution, please tell me how it looks if you can ^_^
heehee, yay!
i cannot put a title... Labels: rants
...on such an event.
if you don't know yet, you'll probably know pretty soon, 'coz i just can't shut up about it XD
i'll post something about that later, baka lalong ma-inflate yung ulo ng isa jan...mwahahaha!:) but it's fine with mee, mwehehe ^_^
anyway, i have this thought begging to come out, so here it goes:
you know the saying...
"wise is the man who learns from his experience, but wiser is the man who learns from other people's experience"
or something like that. anyway, i think it needs to be modified a bit...like this...
"wise is the man who learns from his experience, but wiser is the man who learns from other people's experience...though the wiser man tends to be emptier "
i think it's good if you learn from toher people's experiences and not make the same mistakes they made...but i think the person who actually experiences the pain and all the shit thatcomes with the experience is essentially better off.
i believe you can never fully understand an experience or a feeling until you've experienced or felt it yourself. sure you can see the logic of it all and you've gone through life without the problems because you've been forewarned, but then again, you won't be able to enjoy the happy times without knowing what the crappy times are like. you are empty.
wiser, yes.
but happier?
maybe, in some cases, not.
i could be wrong here, but i just think that it's important to take risks from time to time. i mean, you never know exactly what might happen.
whether it's a math17 exam you're afraid of failing (again)...
or a confession from a rationalist guy who has a God-complex and wants to terminate Gloria. XD
life's chaotic that way.
but it wouldn't be life otherwise.
so yes, i am giving myself another chance.
i may still be stupid now, but i can be sure that i am less stupid than before.
you do not know what you're getting yourself into dear. heck, i don't know what i'm getting myself into as well. but somehow...
maybe it's worth a shot. :)
maybe. XD
dammet, i am so addicted XD
i have a LiveJournal!! and Limewire!! Labels: rants
mwahahahaha!
we were required to make a LiveJournal account for my creative writing (CW10) class, and if you wanna check it out: click here (it will open a new window)
watch out for the face of the cat there! i could change it! mwahahaha! cute! ^_^
"Uniqueness Redefined" is my latest post there (as of now) and it talks about... someone. XD
someone very unique and is really fun to talk to.
just read it if you're interested.
heehee, its pretty cute and i might consider moving everything there...but i'm loyal and biased, so i'll stay with blogger a li'l while, mwahaha ^_^
at least until i get tired of their service...they're pretty slow. livejournal has a lot more features.
and i have Limewire! endless possibilities await! including the possibility of my computer crashing, but what the hey, i'm not stupid, i DO know what i'm doing XD
haha, i just had a weird day, so hyper.
again, check out my LiveJournal, hmmmkei? XD
i survived Labels: rants
*sings "i'm a survivor" while typing*
now i only have to survive the rest of my life.
oh sh**, last post na pla ung last time :P
anyway...
sembreak is almost over, a new sem is about to start...
i have two missions:
1. PASS MATH17!
2. Get a GWA of 1.5 to be a College Scholar!
yeah! ^_^ V
ok, the second is a bit ambitious, but as they say, "aim high" di ba?
aim for the moon. even if you miss, you land among the stars...
dammet, isn't it the other way around?
the people who said this must have not listened to their physics teacher...
or maybe it was BECAUSE of their physics teacher! XD
anyway...
i now know that the feeling never goes away...
it stays with you, but you just learn to live with it.
last na un, swear! XXD
this is absolutely the last post i'll ever make about him, ok? Labels: blind item, rants
(forgive me if some of you are offended, i just need to say this. let me clarify that this is not targeted to anyone in particular.)
you should really give him a chance. he really isn't that bad of a person. and in my opinion, you don't have the right to judge him...you don't have the right to say those things about him, it really isn't fair.
ok, he might be a bit annoying sometimes, but i don't know, i think you're exagerrating...
he does deserve to be cluster head...he was chosen to have that job...he really does want to serve the Lord...and he's really good at what he does at the Ycom, and he loves working there, so don't blame him if he wants to work there...
give him a chance to show that he's a nice person who just wants to get along with everyone like everybody else does...
again, i don't mean to offend. some of you probably have reasons why you feel the way you do...but for some that don't...be reasonable...
i just don't think it's fair...
and i don't regret ever being with him...i loved every moment, the good, the bad and the all the other times...
but i know it's time to move on...i know my fairy tale is over...it didn't have the last line that most fairy tales have...
but maybe it was meant to be that way, maybe it was meant to just teach us both something, not to keep us together...there's a reason for all of this, i know, i know.
just give me time to accept everything i know.
but please don't judge him before you even make an effort to know him. that's just damn mean.
if you have a problem with him, don't be a coward and tell him. you'd be doing him, and yourselves a favor.
i want him to be happy. i hope he finds a girl who understands him, even more than i do. someone who'll love him despite the things that people say.
someone who will love him even more than i did/do.
but i also hope that he can find a way to stand up on his own without needing a girl by his side.
i really do admire his passion for his work and how he praises God.
so i hope he finds happiness. in whatever form it may come.
just please....
if one of you people know something...if you know something about what he's doing or who he's courting or whatever. please...
do not tell me.
i.
do.
not.
want.
to.
know.
i want to know if he's happy and alive...
i just don't know if i can handle knowing why....
dammet.
i need to get out of this awkward stage of acceptance and letting go...i've tried this before, but i never managed...
i think it's time that i did.
i just felt a huge urge to type... Labels: rants
but i have absolutely no idea what i'm gonna type about...
hmmm..
oh yeah, i have a few thoughts..
...it's so hard to grow a plant...
but so easy to kill it.
...it's so hard to build trust...
even though one act can destroy it.
...it's very tiring to achieve something...
but very easy to just give up.
...it takes a lot of time to type a good essay...
but it takes only a second to select all and delete.
...it's so hard to be understanding...
but so easy to be jealous.
...it's so hard to earn money...
but so easy to spend it.
...it takes a lot of effort to live...
but it doesn't take much to die.
why is that?
maybe life was never meant to be easy...
again, why is that?
maybe it's because the negative always gives identity to the positive...without the negative, the positive cannot be appreciated for all its essentiality...
crap. yes, i know.
hmmm...what do you think?
i don't think very well, so i just try to voice out my ideas, 'coz they might they slip away.
bah. maybe i'm just bored.
------------------
((talking to myself...))
LOVE.
ah, there's a word that everyone seems to get all worked up about.
everyone is secretly (or perhaps openly) waiting for their own fairytale story...
a prince charming meeting a princess and falling oh-so-madly-in-love instantly...
blame the Disney Princesses and the Grimm Brothers because of the shit that they feed us in our days of childhood...for all the "love at first sight" lines and all that "happily ever after" crap that we get from reading and/or watching their sugar-coated-with-sprinkles-on-top-behind-rose-colored-glasses stories...
now, it might just be my cynical/pessimist/bitter side talking(or, in this case, typing) here...so i apologize to all the romantics out there...
no, i actually don't feel sorry at all, i mean, it's my blog and i am not forcing you to read this, but out of politeness, i apologize anyway...
we grow up in a prettified version of life...then we find out that everything is not as it seemed to be and we end up getting all confused and emo and stuff...
hmmm...it's sad...but i guess it's good that we get to learn about the darkness of life by ourselves, so that we can fully appreciate the light when it comes...
there's just something wrong about wishing for a happily ever after that will never come...
or will it...?
what do you think...charlyn?
(honestly diane, i do not know...maybe i'll just force myself not to care until the moment comes that i have to...mwahahaha)
XXXXX yes, i am talking to myself using my two names, you got a problem with that? XXXXXX
---------------
the worst thing is being in love with the thought of being in love...
no, what's worse than that is NOT KNOWING if you really are in love...or JUST in love with the THOUGHT of being in love...
yuck. i'm getting all icky...
bwahaha!
-------------------
eniwei, enough with the mushy stuff that's probably been handed down from generation to generation...
CLASS CARDS DISTRIBUTION SA MATH BUKAS!!!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
and..
REUNION WITH TULUNGIN!!
C U PIPOL!!
thoughts swirling in my mind... Labels: rants
swirling...round and round...and i can't stop them...
one topic to another...they hover around my head non-stop...and i can't stop them...
and i can't express them well either...
...thoughts on love...
...on life...
...on moving on...
...on religion
...belief
...faith..
.choices
...morals
...experiences
...memories
...dreams...
and so on...
and i can't stop them...
i guess i'm still waiting for my fairytale ending...
i guess i'm just in love with the thought of being in love...
i guess i can't wait to begin again...
i guess i've been a fool to ever doubt my belief...
or maybe i'm just changing....
i am in pursuit of what i truly believe in...
something that is truly my own...
something that has not been forced into me by culture or tradition...
and maybe life has its reasons for making things as it is...
or perhaps the reason is that thereis no reason at all...
maybe i'm just typing a bunch of words that don't make sense...
...maybe i'm just scared for the math exam...
or maybe...
i'm just bored.
